I have completed 40 days of practicing
Shambhavi Maha Mudra Kriya twice a day, and in this post, I would like
to share with you my experience of it so far.
But first, let’s start at the beginning.
At the end of September, I attended Inner Engineering, a course conducted by Sadhguru’s Isha foundation.
I have been following Sadhguru for the
last few years. I have completed inner engineering online (this is not a
pre-requisite for the teacher-led program) and also the Hata Yoga Surya
Kriya program (you can read about my experience here).
My husband has also been practicing for the last two years, so the
prospect of taking this course was not new to me, and yet, everything
was.
This blog post isn’t to share much about
the specific events of the program, the teachings, the exercises, the
schedule or the initiation to the kriya itself. I truly believe it is
something you need to experience for yourself. Words can only take you
so far, and besides, no two peoples experiences are the same. Telling
you too much will only take away from your experience.
My friend happened to also be taking the
program, and as the location was closer to her house than to mine, I
stayed with them for the 4 days. I brought my diary with me, where I
usually write my spiritual contemplations and reflections. And yet, I
could not write. Each moment simply demanded to be felt and lived, my
cells saturated in all that I learned and have come to understand about
life. I just could not find it in me to write
But now, I have returned to our quiet
home, and life resumes as usual, and yet, nothing feels the same.
Everything feels brand new. I can hear the rain falling outside, and
there is a soft shadowy darkness in the room. I feel bright and full of
light and yet when it rains, I also rain inside myself in the most
beautiful way.
There is nothing in this world that I
cannot contain within me, and there is nothing in this world that does
not contain me. I never knew it before, but I feel it now. This is just
one of the things that it has been unearthed in me.
Let me begin by telling you a story about
a rose. The day before the course started, I had a particular desire to
draw a rose. I had never drawn a rose before, but I tried anyway to
bring it to life on the pages of my book. The act of drawing is almost
an internal experience. My perception has to increase, I have to notice a
rose in such intricate detail in order for me to capture and translate
at least a fraction of the beauty onto paper. I observed the way the
petals overlap each other and cradle in the inner bud, so condensed and
yet so open and blossoming at the same time. There are many subtle
aspects of the rose.
There are so many subtle aspects of everything in life, and yet, I never notice it.
This is the drawing.
At the very end of the course, each
participant was given a single red rose as a thank you. My rose,
blossoming first on paper, then in my heart, and then in my hand.
Once I returned home after the 4 day course, I began my 40 days practice of Shambhavi Maha Mudra, practiced twice a day.
I took some simple notes throughout this
time period of my experiences and challenges encountered, so that I may
share them with you.
The practicalities
First let’s look at the practicalities of incorporating this kriya into your day.
The whole practice takes around 30
minutes to complete, which includes the 10 minutes of preparatory
asanas. Certainly not a large time commitment, especially if your
spiritual growth is a priority for you, and if you account for all the
time we waste doing meaningless things – then it really puts that total 1
hour investment into perspective.
Of course this is looking at the actual
physical practice of the kriya itself which is confined to the 30
minutes. The effects of this practice are likely to spill into the rest
of your day and send ripples throughout many facets of your life.
So I personally did not look at it in
terms of “1 hour invested every day towards my spiritual practice.” I
was ready for a whole shift. I was ready for it to consume my entire
day, and my entire being. I was ready to make it everything, and that
has made all the difference.
The second requirement that you practice
on an empty stomach. This means 4 hours after a full meal, 2.5 hours
after a snack, or 1 hour after a beverage. This does take a little bit
of scheduling, especially if you have a busy day with many engagements.
But once you have set your schedule, there isn’t much forethought
required.
I practiced my first session the morning
as soon as I woke up, when I am naturally on an empty stomach. I would
then have breakfast.
After lunch at 1pm, I would remain on an
empty stomach till 5:30-6:00, and then practice the Kriya. I would have
dinner shortly afterwards.
By the end of the 40 days, I appreciated
the order and discipline the practice bought to my eating habits
throughout the day. I started eating at the right time, and I stopped
senselessly snacking throughout the day. I was aware of each and every
time I decided to consume food – which sounds simple enough, but it now
surprises me how unconsciously I would eat food before.
Did maintaining this practice mean I had
to sacrifice much on a day to day basis? Not to me. The benefits far
outweighed any effort I had to put into making it happen.
I am blessed to have a husband who is as
passionate about my spiritual growth as I am, and his encouragement
really helped on days when fitting in my practice was more difficult.
Novelty vs dullness
The first 15-20 days were quite
enjoyable, most likely due to the novelty of it all. But then I came
across my first hurdle in my practice. I was becoming dull. The novelty
was wearing away, and I found myself going through the motions just to
be able to complete that day.
I needed to find away to make my practice
vibrant again. I thought about it. I realized that this kriya has not
changed, it is only I who have changed. The kriya has not become slack
and dull. I have become slack and dull. I had stopped approaching the
practice with a sense of reverence.
So, I recalled something that had been
taught to us in the course – that before we begin our sadhana, we should
spend 2 minutes reminding us for the concepts bought to light during
I.E.
This made a huge difference in my
practice. It lit a warm fire in my sadhana again. In my experience,
Shambhavi Kriya acts as a magnifying glass of what is inside us, so it
is important to fill yourself with what you want to be magnified before
you practice it. Spending 2 minutes reminding myself of these profound
concepts of life and living, made a difference.
Being in Sadhgurus presence
I flew back to Vancouver to attend an
evening with the mystic. Everything about that night and everything
about me was electric. Being in his presence, listening to him speak,
meditating together, being blessed by his touch and intense gaze which
sent waves of electricity through me, and to have my book signed by him.
That evening, when I returned back to the
hotel room to do my evening Kriya, everything was absolutely heightened
to another level completely. Perhaps for the first time I realized how
powerful this tool I have been given really is. We may all be given
different tools in life, but to make magic happen, you have to know how
to use it.
The entire evening served as the perfect
opportunity for me to deepen my kriya, and now I experience it so
differently to how I did when I first began.
After that evening, I started to feel that practicing kriya was a way
for me to switch myself “ON.” I started looking forward to it each day,
not out of novelty, but out of necessity. I needed to be switched on. I
don’t want to go through my day on “off” mode. I need to be on.
I also started to approach practice with a greater sense of
reverence. I began to treat it as sacred as it is. I stopped rushing. I
started to sit there with as much intensity as I did on the first day of
initiation.
I started approaching kriya thinking “if there is even just one thing
I do today that I absolutely lose myself in, that I can do with
complete intensity, let it be this. Let it be this meditation.”
My body began to grow more comfortable with each component of the
kriya. I can sit for longer periods of time comfortably (which was not
the case when I first started). My breath deepened. Maintaining Vapreeta
Swasa for 3 minutes, which seemed impossible to me initially – slowly
became available to me.
I initially used the app Yoga Timer to help guide my practices. The
entire kriya takes 21 minutes, which is further divided for each
component of the kriya. The timer was good at first, but ultimately, I
found it disturbing. Sometimes I would have to open my eyes to reset the
timer if I got a little off sync etc. Eventually I put the timer away
and allowed my internal timing to improve.
Finally it got to a point where I would naturally complete the Kriya at exactly 21 minutes, and I don’t know how.
Life on Fast Forward
They say once you throw yourself into
your spiritual practices, when you make your spiritual growth your
absolute priority in your life, your life goes on fast forward. Because
we need to burn through karma, we need things to happen fast, so that we
can reach our spiritual liberation. Life becomes blurry.
I became pregnant.
For a few days after finding out I was
pregnant, my kriya was not as focused. I felt so distracted and
overwhelmed. I found it difficult to be present and melt into my breath.
I was filled with thoughts. Filled with excitement and fear. Filled
with plans and expectations.
After a couple of days of that, I thought
– this cant go on this way. Something has got to change. So instead of
being lost in thoughts about how much life as we know it was going to
change, I focused my energies on the growing life within me. I began a
communion with my unborn child. A connection from my baby, to me, to the
divine. A connection from the divine, to me, to the divine.
I sank into my ability to be a mother of the world.
And then morning sickness kicked in and
greatly impacted the quality of my practice. Infact, I found that
certain parts of the kriya intensified my nausea, and I was unable to
give my sadhana the intensity it requires. I completed my 40 days and
decided as much as I felt energetically prepared to continue on, I
should take a break until I feel better. And I did.
Now what?
40 days is not a long time. It feels long
in the beginning, because perhaps there aren’t many things I have stuck
to for that long. But once I got into it, and felt the roses blossoming
within me, I realized that 40 days is nothing. It seemed senseless to
stop there, and had it not been for being so sick, I could never have
stopped. And so, now that I am feeling better, I return to my practices.
For my unborn baby,
For my family,
For the world.
For my liberation,
I cannot change the world without being able to change my life first.
And though 40 days is not much, it is
something. It is the first small step in the right direction and one
thing I am certain about is that life can never be the same again.
Written by Malavika Suresh
Dec 20, 2016
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