“Neither in this world nor elsewhere is there any happiness in store for him/her who always doubts.” Bhagvat Gita
I was brought up
in the foothills of Himalayas where great Yogis and Sages were born.
However, I never realized the opportunities that I had for my spiritual
growth. I never looked within myself. If I was living at all, I was
living in my mind, forgetting my own “self” most of the time. I was
always busy checking emails, doing homework, arguing with people, and so
on. I learned later that I was not really living because the very
nature of life is “awareness”.
But the atmosphere where I was brought up had its influence on me. I knew about the benefits of Yoga for our health and well being. I knew about the potentials of Ayurveda that existed since ancient times. I knew that there is some thing deeper in Indian classical music which has been described in the Vedas,
the most sacred scriptures in Hinduism. But somehow, the power of
‘”maya” kept me busy in the outside world. Deep within me, I had this
desire to know the deeper meaning of life; to know the truth. It took me
a long time to realize that turning inward is the only way to know
these things.
I have been trained as an engineer (civil) and I have learned to
design and optimize so many things to make them more usable and increase
their efficiency. But I never paid attention that our body, emotions,
and energies could also be engineered so that they function at their best.
I have also been trained as a climate scientist. And I very well know
the complexity of modeling the “Earth System”. There is no doubt that
modeling a ‘human being’ is even more complex. One question haunted me
often: how can “I” understand the Earth System without first knowing who
“I” am myself that perceives everything?
The knowledge of “Yoga” has lived for at least a few thousand years.
But unlike science, it has not evolved. The knowledge of Yoga remains
intact; it is the same today as it was when it originated. The methods
of Yoga have been practiced by many Yogis
and its knowledge passed through generations. Many people around the
world practice yoga knowing the health benefits of yoga. However, only a
few people know the spiritual dimension of yoga, as a technique to
connect with the core of one’s being or soul.
Although I was born in a Hindu society where spirituality was part of
life, my real quest for spirituality only began when I visited various
parts of India in 2005. I visited several ISCON temples there and I also read Bhagvat Gita written by the founder of ISCON, Swami Prabhupada.
It is little ironic that I read Gita in English but I was quite
impressed by ISCON movement mostly because of Prabhupada, who truly
lived life of a Yogi. But even Bhagvat Gita
did not answer the questions that I had in my mediocre mind. At that
time, I just read it because I had to read it. After all, it is
considered one of the greatest scripture in Hinduism. A lot of questions
about life and the nature of the physical world were answered by
Krishna in it but they didn’t really mean anything to me. Because I was
an engineer, I had the tendency to doubt the things that cannot be
physically observed or verified.
I continued my spiritual quest and read biographies of several
spiritual leaders and philosophers. My spiritual quest got deeper when I
was living away from my home leaving behind my recently married wife.
At that time, when I was doing my Master’s in Abu Dhabi, I read a lot
about spirituality. Autobiography of a Yogi written by Paramhansa Yogananda specially inspired me. I also found teachings of Ravi Shankar
touching my heart. I used to watch a lot of debates on religions too.
In part, the reason was that I had experienced three major religious
cultures of the world. I was born Hindu and I got to know many Hindu
spiritual and religious leaders. I lived in Abu dhabi for about 2 years
where I experienced and learned a bit about Islam. And I had the
opportunity to understand Christian culture when I visited the US. I
found that spirituality was something in common in all of these
religions.
I was never satisfied by one philosophy or the path of spiritual
leaders in Hinduism. The main reason was that most of their principles
required refraining daily life and living an ascetic life as a condition
for spiritual development. Deep in my heart, I really wanted to adopt
spirituality in my life but I didn’t want to (or was unable to) detach
myself from my family and material life. Then I found Sadhguru
whose teachings exactly hit my interest. That is, his teachings were
focused on practicing spirituality while living normal life (Grihastha).
I had watched several videos of Sadhguru in YouTube and several other
websites. When I watched his videos and read his teachings, something
within me told me that there is some ‘substance’ in them. Being an
engineer, I got particularly interested in Inner Engineering.
Spiritual knowledge has been taught directly by the gurus to the disciples in the Gurukul
system since ancient times. I used to practice yoga asanas
intermittently since my teenage by referring to some yoga books. But
after a few months I would discontinue the practices because they didn’t
seem to do anything. Later, it became clear to me that it is not
appropriate to practice yoga without a guru or without understanding its
essence.
I came to know that Inner Engineering program was being offered in
Austin. But it came at a time when I was preparing for my PhD defense.
The training would start from April 14 but my defense was scheduled for
April 15. Further, it was already difficult for me to manage four days having a 9-months old daughter. Despite this, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so I decided to take it.
At that moment, I was still doubtful on whether Inner Engineering
really works. I just wanted to give a try because it was the only thing
remaining that I had not actually tried in my life – to learn yoga from a
guru. I had tried and achieved so many things in my life, but still
there seemed to be something missing. I was not happy inside.
On the first and second day of Inner Engineering program, we learned some preparatory Yoga Asanas
or Upa Yogas. In the third day, we learned preparatory asanas for
Shambhavi Mahamudra, the most significant portion of the program. On the
fourth day, we played a few group games outside in the morning.
Everything was fun because we were playing in a group of 50-60 people.
We were then initiated for Shambhavi Mahamudra.
I am omitting the details of the program intentionally because there
is more “to experience” than “to know”. So I do not want to ruin your
experience by giving you the finer details of the program. Because you
will start expecting something and you will not concentrate on the
instructions. I want to reiterate that the intensity of experience that
you get depends upon the intensity of attention given to the
instructions. It is very important to drop your logical mind while you
are there and follow the instructions with trust.
I followed the instructions with full attention and concentration.
And then at one point I had this extremely intense experience
(ecstasy?). It happened at a time when I was about to conclude that this
was just another yoga or meditation program. I was crying like a baby
and tears were flowing my eyes still closed. My hands were completely
frozen on my thighs. My experience was so intense that it took a long
time to come back to normal. I was sitting on the chair for a long time.
I could not or did not want to move. I had no pain in my body and I was
probably in the calmest moment of my life. But after some time, my body
slowly regained normal movement. Tears had dried. When I regained
consciousness, I was completely baffled at what had just happened and I
was asking myself many questions. Was it hallucination? Was I being
hypnotized? Was it really a spiritual experience? Whatever it be, it was
a very unique experience. It was amazing and it had never happened in
my life before. This experience completely shattered my false prejudice
about the spirituality. I strongly felt that it was the beginning of my
inner transformation.
The most significant message I learned from Sadhguru during the
program was that we have to be “conscious” or “aware of the present
moment” all the time. The second message was that, we have the option to
react or respond to various situations in our life. When we react, we
create karma but when we respond we become free.
Now I realize the potential within me as a human being better. We may
be limited physically but we all have equal potential, really.
Do you feel that something is missing in your life? Are you done with
travel, parties, Facebook, and things? If yes, the universe may be
conspiring you for an inner journey. You may be the next victim. Listen
to the voice of your heart and keep yourself open. Something profound
will happen one day, in the recent future.
तमसोमा ज्योतिर् गमय । From darkness, lead me to light;
मृत्योर्मामृतं गमय ॥ From death, lead me to immortality;
ॐ शान्ति शान्ति शान्तिः ।। Aum peace, peace, peace.
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